The following PC Bulletin was recently discovered in someone's archives.
Nothing is known about its origin, distribution, or authorship. The author
wisely refrained from identifying himself. Those who read schoolboy humor
deserve what they get. This means you.
THE WILLIAM PENN CHARTER SCHOOL BULL, FRIDAY,
JUNE 3, 1960
FACULTY
Let's get this straight once and for all. There
are some things which a school of the caliber such as has Penn Charter will not
put up with these things. I'm going to be perfectly clear on this matter, aren't
I? Starting tomorrow (and when I say tomorrow I don't mean the day after
tomorrow, because that would be Sunday and I don't work), all contestants in a
varsity sport will be excused after short recess for taping, lunch, and rest
period. It's unfortunate, but this privilege will be revoked if they fail to
win. The administration is firm on this matter, and does not feel that it is
overemphasizing athletics.
The annual faculty fun and games night will
feature a film taken at our annual retreat entitled "From Here to
Sodom," followed by a twenty-minute short of Milton's "Paradise
Lost."
SENIOR SCHOOL
Come to Valley Green this evening and watch the
annual naval battle and submarine race between Clarke and Co., Schnabel and Co.,
and others. Frazier is favored to sin.
Congratulations to all who won yesterday's track
meet: Allman, 29 1/4; Rulon, 6"; Haverford, 12.7834 1/2; Wriggins, -6.
Congratulations to Ben Hur who won the annual
chariot race. A close second in this famous Grand Prix du Germantown was Alvin
of Augustus, who took nineteen points and one pedestrian. Also-rans were J.
Churchman, two points, T. Wriggins, minus 6 points.
Congratulations to Allan Schneider who turned in
the entire student body for eating at 1:15. The rule says "eating only at
short recess."
MIDDLE AND SENIOR SCHOOLS
(14C) Baseball excused at 2:00, 2:10, and 2:15
to undress here and dress there.
(12) Track is not excused.
(2) Soccer is out of season.
All those interested in playing football next
year report to the study hall today at 3:15 for a short spring practice.
The following are to see Mr. Wood at 11:19
today. "Pushrods" Harmon, Ben Gurion, A. A. Son of Swenson, Big Daddy
Morrison, the entire Junior Class, Mr. Schlegel, Prickitt, Mr. Ricker, Prickitt,
Eva Marie Saint, Sault Sainte Marie, Prickitt, Merrill Ambler (after you are out
of Mr. Palaia's office), Prickitt, Mary Ellen, and Joe Burke.
All boys who have not settled with the library
by 2:32 today will be destroyed.
ALL SCHOOLS
Results of yesterday's games:
(2) Hand to hand
combat P.C. 69..............A.F.S. 46.
Varsity
letter-winning Wriggins 6
..........Swenson 5.
Varsity
golf
P.C. 6 ...............Lankenau 3.
Highlights of yesterday's golf match, in which
P.C. downed Lankenau 6 - 3; Jim Arrison had a hole in one, Rich Prickitt
followed with a birdie, and one of the Lankenau girls had an eagle. She was
immediately rushed to Germantown Hospital.
Varsity Club meeting at lunch in the '58 room.
All those boys who are going to Nome on the
chorus trip will go to the music room at lunch today to pick up survival kits
and K rations.
Important meeting of the officers of the Varsity
Club in Dr. Gummere's office at 1:10.
Honor Committee meeting at lunch in the '58
room.
Key Club meeting for lunch in the front hall to
meet visiting Springside students.
Library Society meeting in the library at lunch.
Library will be closed indefinitely.
Science Club meeting today at lunch in the lab.
Eat first, come to lab, then report to any other meetings if you have them.
Art Society meeting at lunch in the boiler room.
Come to the meeting and then eat.
All those who wish to become members of the
Webster Society will be required to give their speeches at lunch today in the
Squash courts.
Mr. Maroney will meet in the lunch room.
Mr. Connick will meet.
Mr. Lane will.
Mr. Schlegel.
Mr.
Note to all schools: The office has worked out a
master schedule to eliminate all conflicts. All meetings will be okayed by Mary
Ellen, Mr. Owrid, Mrs. Wentzel, Joe burke, Charlie Smith, and myself. This I am
sure will be much simpler and has worked well thus far this week. I am
absolutely firm on this. ABSOLUTELY!!! I want to be fair about this.
J.W.W.W.W.W.W.W. 9th.
Off role as of May 1: Francis J. Powers.
Off role: Merrill Ambler
Lost: Merrill Ambler. Please return to
Allman, Rm. 21.
Lost: Eight hours of sleep. Please claim at front office.
Lost: Paradise. Please return to Rm. 25, John Milton.
EXCUSED
Allman, 10:32 - 10:54; Ambler, 30:32 - 10:54;
McDowell, at Blands' all day; Rulon to pitch; Swenson to bat; Wriggins to catch;
Scott to Cuba; Levine, to Squash courts for sale; Wriggins excused again to
Abington Hospital with splinter.
ABSENT, TARDY, LOST, OR PRESUMED MISSING
Room #3 - |
No one, Ever, Missing |
34 - |
Fudgy |
4 - |
7 |
25 - |
Lord Byron |
8 - |
Tinkers, Evers, Chance |
101 - |
Throttlebottom, Loves, Diana |
9 - |
Quasimodo |
6,743 - |
Wintergreen, Loves, Throttlebottom |
20 - |
Williams (fate unknown) |
Rm. at the top - |
Wintergreen, A., Queer |
2 1/2 - |
McVey, Drinks, Coffee |
|
|
21 - |
Piel, H., Piel, B., @¢%#&$!,
D. |
|
|
22 - |
Wriggins (fraud), Francis (term
paper) |
|
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Thus fades the Class of 1960 into O
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